TikTok is new to me as a social media platform and I could see from our daughters how much they enjoy their favorite “creators” who fill the site with millions of creative ways of expressing their viewpoints. One of them left an earworm running in my mind: @manrikakhaira. I don’t know her. I do not need to meet her. But her simple statement left an impression on my sex-positive mind. It was a simple frustration, but a call to all women to take a side, make a stand, and live boldly in their womanhood.
(The original post from TikTok)
“Ladies, we can’t be expected to wear both a mask and a bra every single day. So, I think we should all free the titties, protect the city…free the breast, protect the rest. Ya, know what da I mean?!”
I can’t give it the proper English Cockney accent she naturally does, but her message stuck with me. No, I’m not a woman. No, I don’t have women’s breasts. But what I took away from it is this: here is this average woman with an International platform sharing how both the mask and the bra are both oppressive clothing that gets on her last nerve. If one of the two garments is a deal-breaker for her (and for some, if not all women) it would be the bra. Wearing a mask to keep her and others safe from spreading the virus is a far more important garment to wear than the bra.
Columnist Arwa Mahdawi wrote in 2019 in The Guardian on how bras are terrible for women. The garment (or lingerie for that matter) is pitched for men’s eyes and not women’s comfort. She pointed out an ad from Coors Light Beer where it focused on just a lone woman coming home from work and grabbing a Coors from the fridge. She then unhooks the bra, sets it to the side, sits on her couch, and downs a swig of beer while braless and a shirt to cover her. Doesn’t sound revolutionary, does it? But as someone who enjoys looking at past television for a personal and historical basis, the idea of a woman doing that for herself and not for a man in the room to “entertain” on a commercial is groundbreaking.
Mahdawi also points out that having bad bras that don’t address the various size or comfort issues may keep many women from taking the steps to get active and have a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is great for women with a B Cup and under to find something that fits them, but if women have more than a B cup, good luck! My daughter tells me all the time how hard it is to find the right size for her as does her stepsister. Most guys don’t get that issue because we can easily find the right pair of pants or underwear that fits us right with little to no discomfort. It makes me wonder if the sole purpose of not making gear that fits women’s breasts properly is some nefarious plot to cause women to take off their bras in desperation so that men can enjoy the view? Sadly, it wouldn’t surprise me if that were the case.
Getting back to what @manrikakhaira on TikTok was driving at, I think if we expounded further with her statement the other message I deciphered was “what danger is more painful to deal with — braless breast or a deadly virus?” I know not all women share the same idea of keeping the bras off for sheer modesty’s sake. I can’t speak for them, but I know how oppressive society (especially the religious) can be. It is taught to young women they need to cover their “unmentionables” because if a man is focused on a woman’s braless nipples they will stumble and fall from grace. A virus doesn’t demand such oppressive overtures on a woman or treat it any different than any man. Men and women can fall to a deadly virus; somehow men can fall if they see a woman braless. Does this mean a man dies by one look? No. A man may get the notion that he likes what he sees and wants to see more.
Here’s the catch fellas: Not your body, not your rules, not their problem you can’t keep your hands to yourself.
Lying and saying a woman’s breast is not attractive and beautiful to see — clothed or not — paints me in a blurred light. Even braless where you may see a trace of a woman’s hardened nipples is alluring. But even I know it is not a woman’s job to protect herself to keep me from pawing after her or harassing her in any way. It is my job to just let her be and let her breast be.
This statement of “freeing the titties” caught my ear and the ears of many women of TikTok and beyond. It is now a rallying cry for women around the world during this pandemic. Many of us who take science at face value know the mask is the single protection gear worth fighting over, worth wearing, worth pressing anyone we care deeply for to put on to protect each other from spreading the virus. Bras are a garment that only serves men and not women, keeps society from losing their collective crap overseeing a woman’s nipples, and is a sex barrier to keep men at bay. I’m sure its intended purposes are there, but why sugar coat the issues when for a lot of women if it came down to their choice of wearing one or not they’d rather wear a facial mask than a boulder-holder any day.
Another aspect to think about is what society teaches males regarding their passions. Whether it is from a religious base or otherwise we tend to accept that as men we are resigned to give in to our passions and our lust if a woman doesn’t do their part to save men like me from losing control. A loose woman doesn’t care about the danger she brings to men because she is willing to “letting herself go” and is “asking for” the trouble they bring by not controlling their libido.
What utter bullshit!
Years of reading, learning, and discussion with women allowed me to have a more thoughtful look regarding a woman’s right to their breasts. Maybe the reason this catchphrase stopped me in my tracks is the simplicity of the message. A woman calling on other women to prioritize what is the more important threat in the world ditching one covering over another. It is also to call out that the bigger threat is the Covid-19 virus and not “freeing the titties”. She may not have said it in her statement, but nowhere did she coddle to Western society’s call on women to do their part to keep men from “falling”. She calls women to not bind themselves under a bra for hours on end.
Women’s breasts are a duel part of their physiology benefiting both infants and for personal arousal. It is their body part and should not be dictated by society, religion, or any male code. Men have the freedom to wear no underwear at all and let their penis free within their pants or shorts with no impunity. A woman is never given the chance to allow her breast to be on display whether if it is under a loose-fitting shirt, blouse, or dress or to just bare them like any man can do with their breast. Yet these body parts I mention are neither a threat to society, a threat to anyone’s health, or damnation to one’s soul. They are simply body parts.
Both sexes should be given the right to display their breast anyway or shape they choose without being shamed for even having them out. So if a woman chooses to let her breast free, then self-control and respect are in order on our part as men. We respect her bounds. We respect her control. We respect her choice. If she wants you to look and sample what she has she gets to make that call, not us.
In the decades ahead, a more comprehensive approach of education is in order regarding each sex’s personal responsibility and boundaries. We need future generations to understand each of us is responsible for our own desires, how they are met, and how to control them.
This young TikTok creator’s creative phrase was meant for women everywhere, but she happened to capture my ear which I’m grateful. As a sex-positive male, hearing women’s stories and their experiences is very important because if we don’t know what it is like to live in their shoes we miss out on their humanity and their dignity. I know for me I will never stress a woman over not wearing bras, but will stress them if they refuse to wear a mask in public. It isn’t about me…it’s about a woman’s right to dictate what she does with her titties.
